Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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