Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
