I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
