I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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