i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Green mimosas i think yes
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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