For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
