hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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