My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
