I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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