sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
