I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
