I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
