First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
