I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I sprained my soul last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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