I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
