I showed him my bush... on skype.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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