My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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