i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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