The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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