D3 body, D1 cock
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
