so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize
