I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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