just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
