At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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