Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
