You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
