I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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