i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
