I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
