yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
