I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
