I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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