MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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