Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
