your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
