You're my little dorito
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
