So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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