every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
