I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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