Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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