proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i've created a new STD.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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