OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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