...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
