she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
