dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Your cock deserves a montage
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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