Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
as a side note pls kill me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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