We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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