im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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