doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
