Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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